2 posts tagged “eragon”
Hace un tiempo descubrí una página que me encantó por sus artículos satíricos y su estilo anti-wikipedia: Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.La página sigue la misma línea de Wiki, pero con artículos de broma que a veces se pasan de geniales.
Lo que dicen de Harry Potter: (si no han leído el 7º les sugiero que NO lean el artículo, pero estos extractos que puse aquí son seguros ;))
"Severus Snape
is Harry's mortal enemy #931 (Harry Potter Villain Union local 12). He
is a good character deserving of your pity, unless you've read through
book six, in which case he's evil. 2nd cousin of Miss Hardbroom from
the Worst Witch novels. He kills Dumbledore in book six, but unless
you've lived under a rock, you should know this several times over by now.
Neville Longbottom is an unremarkable student that nobody likes or cares about. In reality, he had a 50-50 chance of being the main character, but unfortunately Voldemort He Who Must Not Be Named, using the questionable means of Eeny Meeny Miny Mo, decided Harry would give the series better readings, and chose him instead.
Bellatrix Lestrange is Harry's mortal enemy #3228 (Harry Potter Villain Union local 27) whose hobbies include hating mudbloods, torturing mudbloods, killing mudbloods, disemboweling Mudbloods, and basket weaving.
Ginny Weasley is the girl Harry loves, as opposed to the more obvious guess of Hermione.
Dobby, the son of Sméagol and Jar-Jar Binks, is Harry's stalker. He works baking cookies for Keebler. Constant attacks from the Rice Crispies elves have taken their toll on him. "
Lo que dicen de Naruto:
"Yeah, the Naruto (ナルト, NARUTO) manga series is all right. It's got ninjas, which is pretty cool, I guess. It's written and illustrated by mangaka Masashi Kishimoto. He must be rich now. It's got an anime adaptation, which probably gives him more money."
"He [Sasuke] wants to have revenge against his brother Itachi for killing his whole family except for him - making Sasuke a true role model for 12-year-old children like him everywhere. Seeing everyone he loved murdered before his eyes has also caused him to act all dark and angsty... friggin' emo..."
"Black-haired, pale, and noseless, Orochimaru is a major antagonist. He was the source of many of the events of the series until (spoiler)he brutally was killed off by Sasuke.[2](/spoiler)"
Lo que dicen de Dragon Ball Z:
"[The author] is well known for discovering how to never end a story line. He is also
credited with the ability to stretch time into years and stuff; seen in
all its glory in his '{object} will explode in five minutes!' scenes.
Most of the characters are named after vegetables, leading to the
undeniable fact that he himself was a vegetable."
Lo que dicen de Bleach:
"Tite Kubo is the well-known Japanese fashion designer behind the Bleach clothing line. Tite launched the clothing line in 1998, selling it exclusively out of Urahara Shōten, a store in downtown Tokyo owned by his once good friend Urahara Kisuke. After a falling out with Urahara in 2001, Tite set up his own store, took his company public, enlisted an army of then-unknown models, and caught the eye and the hearts of the fashion world.
Bleach is known for its vibrant use of colors and its emphasis on wearability. Tite set out to create a line that anyone, be they models or any other well-proportioned young adults, could look good in. He has a keen eye for trends and has an uncanny ability to predict what people will want to wear, and what they should wear, in his line and in others. Designer Ōgure Ito (of the Oh! Great fashion line) once described him as "The Master of the Obvious."
Lo que dicen de Death Note:
"Deaf Note is about a boy named Lite Brite who finds a notebook one day that was put there by a Rockigami or God of Rock called Ronnie James Dio. This notebook has the power to turn people deaf
almost immediately through the use of annoying songs. If one wants to,
one can write the song that causes deafenings; otherwise, the deafening
is caused by a sudden heart attack. Lite realizes the power of this,
and starts to turn everybody that he does not like or don't assist to
the Sunday Morning Fever of Bingo deaf. He does this under the name of
Shakira, so as not to be found by the police, his mother-in-law or the
fangirls stampede."
Y mi favorito, Eragon:
"We're sorry, you may have been looking for Star wars or The Lord of the Rings and not even have known it!"
"The first part of the Inheritance Trilogy, written collectively by Chris Panini, J.R.R. Tolkien, Anne McCaffery, Bob Dole, David Eddings, J. K. Rowling, George Lucas and Oscar Wilde, takes place in Middle Alagaesia and revolves around the central character, Aragorn. (Later versions of the book mispell it as Eragon.)"
"(...) The book's most frequent
criticism is that it is far too original. They complain that Panini's
employment of such species as Elves,
Dwarves, and a never before seen race known as Urgals simply isn't
'boring enough' and the exciting action 'frightens them.' Many believe
that it's a marvel that Eragon is even kept on book shelves considering
the amount of entertainment it contains."
Otro artículo que recomiendo es el de las Leyes de la Física en el Anime xD
No tengo ni IDEA de qué demonios pasó por mi pobre cerebrito cuando compré este... atentado contra la literatura.
Para los que no lo sepan, Eragon trata de la fascinante historia de un chico del mismo nombre (OMG! Es "dragon" con una E! Qué creativo ¬¬) que descubre un huevo de dragón en una tierra fantástica en la que los dragones están extintos y... bueno, probablemente se imaginan el resto.
El libro puede resumirse en el siguiente script:
ERAGON- ZOMG! Una piedra brillante! La venderé por un poco de pan y carne, ya que es lo único que comemos en este lugar...
*inserte largas descripciones y una introducción más aburrida que chupar un clavo aquí*
DRAGÓN- Yo. Soy tu dragona. Hablo en cursivas porque aparentemente nos comunicamos a través de nuestros pensamientos.
BROM- Hola, chicos. Soy un viejo peludo que acosa a Eragon y está obsesionado con los dragones. Oh, y aparentemente soy el Gandalf/Dumbledore/Obi Wan Kenobi de este relato.
ERAGON- Oh, no! Mi tío murió porque el Rey Malvado (TM) está detrás de mi trasero!
*inserte angst barato y mal escrito aquí*
BROM- Olvídate de tu trauma psicológico de una vez, que ya pasamos 200 páginas sin movernos del pueblo!
ERAGON- Perdón. *se olvida del trauma*
Y así comienza la basura... perdón, la aventura...
Pero en serio, hagan lo que hagan, incluso si están sujetos bajo tortura, NO LEAN ERAGON. Y si lo ven en una librería, huyan gritando y no regresen jamás.
